Demonic Angel

ahaha aliw hun is on the webcam and so am i, nag quit xa sa sodta nya para makachat ako, and to see me on cam, ehehe, God i feel like crying right now miss na miss ko na tlga xa, grabe i had to action pa kinikiss ko xa kasi he wants eh...ehehe...

yeah, ahaa, they have been together for 42 years, ahaha, astig noh? thy grew old together, i find it amzing kaya. Prang alam mo yun, astig lang. Which reminds me 2 months nlng ang 1 year na kami weepee!

Anyway for the sake na makainternet nag commute ako magisa! I congratulate my self for being so brave! joke! :D

Paalis na ko kanina dumating s Kim my little pamangkin, uhm he isnt that little ahaha nagbibinata na nga ata un eh, basta i kissed him as i saw him and sad bye, tapus un umalis na ko, and um pretended sa driver na i really know Gen San well! ahahaha, it worked.

I miss hun, grr, so much, dito ako intrnet cafe' im using my laptop though, wala lang, para easier ahaha, kasi all my files are here.

So far im still cryng my ass off evry night, i think of my happy and sad days here in the philippines and it's just so sad na hanggng dun nlng, no more of those, tapus na.. :( alam mo un? haaay.. bad bad..

Basta im reminded of hun's promise everynight, na hndi xa bibitiw, that's what he said, i do believe him, kaso im still scared of what' s gong to happen, kasi nga xempre diba?? ang layo ko, huhuhu, malay mo may mga freaking malalanding pokpok na magflirt sa knya, we never know diba? kahit alam kong hindi nmn kakagat si hun, pro i don't want any girl to get their God forsaken made eeky hands of my hunny. If you have/had a bf you'd pretty well understand diba?

AGGGGGH!!!!!!! I dont want to go!!!!!

Here at Gen San. Now everything seems so quiet and so sad, my life suddenly became hollow.

Last night was the best night ever, as we approached the elevator hun was really nervous and as I rang that doorbell he walked back from the opposite direction and told me he was going home, I simply laughed and said that I was there to hold his hand and everything will be okay.

I packed my suit case and my bag for gen san again, coz it was messed up a oakwood, and hun helped me, I almost cried when I saw hun with teary eyes and he was looking at me with a frown, and as I look at him with a weak smile, he would give me smile but I know that time he didn’t mean that smile… maybe he did but it wasn’t a sign of happiness but a sign of sadness. I hugged him and he kissed me. It was so hard for us to have fun.

Later on he played at my laptop, he played poker and then I kept laughing which changed the mood in the room, then I took a shower.. then pagkatapos I crawled sa carpet and he just kept playing, how stupid of me not to think that there was a mirror in front of me, ahaha so my plan did not work, I wasn’t able to scare hun like he would always do to me. He hugged me and kissed me… then smelt my arm and my neck.. like what he would always do. God I miss that. He taught me how to play poker and he laughed as he finished taking a shower he came back and saw that my money wa 6000 na! ahaha, daya daw kasi xa di raw umabot ng 1000…

We then went to the living room and watched a movie. We layed on the couch hugging each other, It felt like I didn’t want any of that to end. I really didn’t.

He had his head on my lap as he fell asleep, he slept for hours but I didn’t, I looked at him and hugged him every now and then, I couldn’t bare to get my eyes off him.. I cried the whole time he was asleep, he would wake up and hug me and comfort me to make me feel better but my crying would never stop. At 4 I was layng and he was layng beside me hugging me I fell asleep, then I fell asleep. I fell asleep maybe bcause my darn eyes were too tird to cry more.

We woke up at 5:30 it was hard to wake hun as usual, ahaha. There was no time to take a shower so nahilamos nlng kami, nagtooth brush then got changed. We went straight to the airport then on our way there, hun kept crying, I couldn’t take it so I cried too, for 10 months I made hun laugh and and happy, and seeing him so sad hurt me so bad, I felt his pain so much that I cried too. As we got off the car we hugged each other so tight and kissed. It was so hard to let go but he was able to, I didn’t want to but we really had to go.

As I walked the floors of the airport, tears trailed, I cried and cried, and stopped once w got to where there were a lot of people kakahiya eh, I didn’t cry on the plane I was so tired, remembering I only had an hour of sleep I dozed off till we landed.
And here I am now, desperately wanting to go back and be with him, I miss him, I feel like crying again, kaso nakakahiya ditto sa lola at lolo ko. Fuck! I hate my life for sucking so bad this way! Fuck it!

I also want to smoke the hell out but I can’t since my lolo and lola will smell it and then I’d be dead. I cant connect pa kasi alang modem dito so now im typing this at word, haay asar, may internet card but I cant fucking connect, I forgot to bring pa my USB floopy disk or my fucking USB porter, darn.

I just called hun he greeted me on the phone with his sweetest “hi hun!! I miss you nah!” I could tell he really does. God I feel like crying right now ulit fuck.


Slowly dying

I cant take it, I just can’t seem to stop crying, im slowly dyng knowing that my hun is so far away and we wouldn’t see each other again for a very long time. I don’t want to go and there’s nothing I can do im so hurt, and depressed my lola and lolo keep telling me to eat coz I havn’t eatin the whole day, I satisfy them a little bit by eating a bit, but to tell you it wasn’t enough I know. Coz I feel weak.

I keep looking at our photo, and the hun’s sweet scent wouldn’t seem to leave me, I stare down at his face running my finger acroos the photo imagining it was him I was touching, it was so hard and sad that I cried.. I cried and prayed to the lord, why he is doing this to me, I love him so much and the lord is tearing us apart from each other, I don’t understand!! I just hate it!!! God damn it!


April 26, 2006

Cries

Last night hun called me, I couldn’t take it, hearing his voice made me miss him more, but of course if I don’t hear his voice I’d probably die. He kept comforting me with his words. I cried and cried kept telling him how I felt he said the sweetest thing “hun you said you wanted this, you wanted to continue our relationship” I replied with a weak voice saying “you wanted it too” then he replied “oo nga, kaya nga I’m being strong, kahit gano ka sakit man to hun, I’m being strong for you…for us…so you gotta be strong too!”.

I smiled thinking that he always had a way in words, he always knew me, he always knew how to make me feel better. After hearing his advice I got so sad, and quiet he said “hun wag kang matakot, hinding hindi kita ipagpapalit” there was a sudden silence on the phone…then he added “kung hindi mo rin ako ipagpapalit” then I told him “hindi po…. Maasahan…” then we said our good byes.. and sweet I love yous on the phone.

At 12 I called him and said good night.

Nagulat nga ako eh, biruin mo kahapon I slept when we got here mga 11 ata, then woke up at 5:30. Then at around 10:30 as I was watching tv pumipikitpikit na mata ko.. ahahaha…. So un I slept at 12:30 am kasi… it was hard to sleep when it was so quiet and all I had in mind was hun.

And o yeah im getting a little rash on my arm, I just hate it , my skin is so sensitive.



Empty

Got nothing to do and I miss hun and all my close friends, I’ve been fiddling my laptop kanina pa craving for the internet and craving to paste everything I’ve written here, darn it.

Maybe I could go bring this laptop to a computer shop and get the modem installed there. Ahaha. As usual im sipping from my icedtea….

Hun called me kanina, he sounded so weak and depressed but he talked to me normally, maybe he thought I wouldn’t notice it…but I did.. and he wasn’t able to go to summer class today, his mom didn’t wake him.. he looked so tired siguro. Early this morning at around 4:30 I was woken up by the message alert of my phone, it was a message from hun, as I read it, hindi daw xa makatulog dahil he had been thinking of me the whole night. :( wawa naman :( haaay…

I really don’t want to go you know, haay.. Roseanne is going to the airport on may 2, sasama rin si hun and maybe some of my friends too. Just to spend time with me kahit 1 hour lang, haaay…

Maybe I could go run away with them and let tiday tell mama that I ran off. Hmm pero wawa nmn si tita inday, hehe , magisa, and I wouldn’t have money to spend and I’ll be dead when dad and mom finds me, ahah, seriously sermon to the max un.

I really don’t wan’t to go! Doesn’t people get that!? Doesn’t my parents get that!? Fuck it! Fuck them all.. joke.. that’s a bit harsh na :D ehehe.

2 days without internet.. and hun.. it’s killing me.. huhuhu potah

Anger and Sadness

Right now I am kind of mad at God, I know it isn’t right but I am… and I’m sorry about it. I hate him for making me suffer this way, I even told anne na, kung bakit sa dinami dami ng taong mas makasalanan pa sa akin ako pa ang pinaparusahan ng ganito.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit binigay pa sakin si Hun para ilayo rin naman xa? Alam mo un parng pinaglalaruan lang ng Diyos ang mga puso namin. Sabi nila baka raw may better plans, ano un!? Kung kalian mamatay na kaming dalwa sa hirap na binigay nya tsaka nya ibibigay?

Hindi ko tinatago, kaya nagpakatotoo ako sa inyo, sana maintindihan nio kung bakit ganito ako, Mahal ko ang Diyos ngunit ngayon hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nagagalit ako sa kanya, dala lang siguro ng hirap at sakit na aking nararanasan ngayon.

Hindi lang si hun ang malalayo sakin kundi ang mga matatalik kong kaibigan… mga kaibigan na nandun para sa akin sa pag tuwing nagkaroon ako ng problema, mga kaibigan na tuwing ang puso ko’y nagdurugo sila ang nagbbigay ng ngiti sakin…sino na ang mga makakausap ko? Ung mga nakakakilala sakin? Wala na si hun wala nrin friends ko.. L

Also my relatives, my closest aunt, rayka, she’s almost like my sister.. I cried and she cried too when it was our time to say good bye…. My lola. Lolo and my other aunts… na paminsan binibista ko trough flying, diba? Eh pano ko na sila mabibisita ngayon ng ganun lang? wala na… ang layo na nun… L

Good bye to Yosi days

Ahaha, yeah, im trying, TRYING to quit, I now lessen my smoking habit, it’s down to 2-3 cigs a day, bilis mag quit no? ahaha, I’m telling you for a smoker that’s a big improvement, I promise.

God I Miss hun. Hrmph! Tomorrow we’re going down to the mall to get some stuff, ahaha, kasi alang razor, ala na rin cotton buds, no facial wash.. ahaha, so sguro after we get my laptop done, we’re going down to the mall to get some stuff J
It’s 10 pm and im craving for internet, and more yosi, uhuhu, and I also miss hun so much, im gana die na. shit.

Since there isn’t a lot of things to do I’ve edited a lot of things ahaha, like link icons for my site, I’m taking out “burning eyes” but change it too “pages of my life” which is more suitable for my site right now. Ehehe.

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Please bare with the codes, I am sorry if turned out this way, ahaha freaking internet problem my laptop won't go onlin through internet card, maarte eh, gusto LAN bwisit!!!

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Aww my mother is so sweet, she invited jm to sleepover with us at oakwood. Ehehe! and pumayag rin si tita leony astig. So later hun will be there, ehehe, movie trip kami. And food trip. Awww!!!

I would really miss him. GOD I NEED A MIRACLE MAKE US STAY!!! huhuhu, i really dont want to go promise, so does my little baby sister, i mean i said to her "dan we're leaving tomorrow" then she replied "but ateeeeeeee... i dont want to go!" in a very kiddy and annoying like voice. Then i hugged her and said "me too dan".

See? we have no say in this, diba? it was just decided na aalis kami and there was nothing we could do about it, if you're a son, it'll be easier for you to say no to your parents if you didn't want to go, pero if you're a girl este daughter, there is simply nothing you can fucking do but follow.

Hun is playing freestyle ehehe, he's playing my character and using my time, so right now im using his ahaha, i'm still at fab kaya, i guess our driver is busy, ehehe, basta.. later... im never letting go of hun. ;)

Bummer, here at fab right now, asar my mom didn't give me money kanina, nagaway kasi kami, nakakaasar kasi pag mainit ulo nya inaawy nya lahat ng tao. Why can;t she just understand na tomorrow i'd be leaving and this day will be my last day to spend with my hunny? Alam mo yun ayaw nya pa kong paalisin kanina asar tlga, she didn't give me money tapus ako pa nagbayad ng tollfee kanina asar. Haaay. Buti nalang may gas pa ung car or else ako pa nagpagas edi i'd be broke for today.

Grabe di ko tlga maimagine na last day ko na ngayon, it'll be so hard to be apart from hun, makakaya ko kaya?? baka naman mamatay ako dun sa australia noh? sa sobrang miss, pero alam ko hun loves me so that'll keep me strong i guess. Haay i just hope he will keep his promises. I really do. or else makikita nio nalang sa tv patrol "filipino teen sa australia nagbigti" as the head line, ahihi, joke, arytie, post later, freestyle lang ako.

this is what i wore kanina..

A siple white top, jeans, and havaianas

Ahaha, aryt damn it i was so mad kanina, i got there at atc, atc 10:30 and hun woke up at 11!!! and then he got me to wait until 1!! grabe noh? ikot ikot lang ako dun. Grabe nangiinit dugo ko run.

Then his mom called me around 12:30 and explained what happened, awww, nagaway sila, ahaha, basta family matter i cant explain and di pedeng share, and included rin ako, ehehe, basta hun cried kasi nga he wanted so bad to make me happy today. Tapus un...i felt sad.. and yun pag dating ni hun di ko nalang xa inaway.

Then we decided to watch "pamahiin" it was funny and a bit frightening, konte lang kasi grabe ang sound effects eh! [ omg im watching PBB teen edition, la lang] pero nakakatawa si iya mag act! ahahaha "nakita ko ang nakita koO!!!" sabi nya, ahaha, "help mee help mee tulungan nio ko!!!" may translation eh noh??

Then after that we ate lunch mga 1:40-50 i ate california maki, sushi, and i forgot what the other one was called, then hun had a lechon kawali with rice, yummy noh? ehehe. Ehehe. Then after that we had Yb, [grabe nmn suot ni Marielle Rodriguez!! and wah si bianca gonzales na ang host!? yoko i want toni!!] i think they wanted people to get scared all about superstitions again, but tell you guys this really isn't a cool movie, it isn't as scary as it was featured on tv as a trailer. Pero ikaw kung gusto mo manuod! ahaha

this is a pisture taken before 8 below started

oh diba? sadko na may shades ahaha...

Then we got bored, so we went to watch another movie, grabeh noh? ahaha, we watched "eight below" it was a nice movie, touching story, ehehe, there was one scene na nakakagulat, kasi a leopard seal jumped out of the dead whale that max,the snow dog,was eating from. Basta it's a story of snow dogs love by Jerry and when things got rough and complicated because of the sudden snow storm they were left at their station at antartica while all scientist and other staffs we're evacuated, their plan was babalikan, pero it took after 6 months! and the 8 dogs were only 6 nlng.. Why? kasi one wasn't able to cut lose of the leash kasi he was 10 years old na, si jack :(. Then one fell kasi there was a soft spot. It amazes me how they stuck together and helped each other out, watch this movie guys! it's cool! :)

Then fter the movie, nag yb kami ni hun outside, lamig eh. Then un i bought icedtea "honey lemon" my favorite one, ahaha, i forgot what the shop's called, [ omg, they are introducing na the teens sa PBB, aba feeling naman nung guy from gensan my kababayan ah!] Then un we went to starbcks andun kasi driver ko. Then hatid ko si hun sa fab. :)

Grabeh, sira hair ng mga teen housemates kasi may pahelmet helmet pang pauso. post later nuod ako. ahihi. Nakakaaliw eh, im certainly gettng TFC sa australia noh! i will cry like a kid if we didn't huhu.

Aryt type in later!! mwah!!

HAPPT 10TH MOTNHSARY HUNNY!!

thank you for the very special day!!

Happy monthsary, i wana thank you for still being there even though i can be so annoying at times, i do admit, ahaha, and you are too you know!? ahaha. But, nothing would ever get in our way right? coz you love me and i love you so damn much! ahihi!

Even though bitches tried to ruin our relationship and one is still tryng to, i would like to thank you for holdng on to my hand! ahihi, and for not slipping off.

To many more problems we may encounter, which includes this long distance relationship i trust you,and i know you wont betray me nor be unfaithful. I just hope you do not break that trust hunny, for i opened my heart to you for you to take it, and care for it, not just to throw it away.

I love you very much! hope we will pass the 12 months and start another year as "jm and alyssa" i want only my name to be next to yours. We might not be close together when i leave but hun always remmber that are hearts are close as they can ever be! so keep close! and never let go! coz you can trust on me of holding tight.

I love you so much and thank you!

which means from the inner ko to 5 layers pass the ozone layer is how her fucking face measures, it's that damn thick dude. Dont blame me if i suddenly hate you, muharhar meaning inaamin mo na ikaw? kasi naapektuhan ka, gosh.. sorry ah.. not that stupid to notice and to know that it was you in the first place.

Why cant they just come and say it? They even include God in it. If it were to him, i'd say im not scared, it wasn't me who isnt a freaking hypocrite fatty squeeler.

Buti pa si ano. Kahit nagaway kami ilang beses duh di xa pnta site ko para manggago, we are simply in a state called, "no pansinan" which is better. Para wala ng away. Hmpph, as long as she doesnt post about me and i dont post about her.

Well anyway "eimac" muhaha, thanks ah? for the comment. So easy for you to say that my blog is trash coz hindi ikaw gumawa ng layout mo. If you think it's so crap then dont come at all diba? dummy!

Well anyway, cant contact hun lowbatt nnmn bwisit, la pa kaming landline so i cant call fab.. grrr... haaay... asar.. ehehe.. okay lang. Lagot xa tom. ehehe. Miss him! i really do!

If you want to visit my old journal peepss... uhm uhm..

ehehe, well te layout is messed up a bit.

Aryt, after ive posted my entry kanina, we left again and went to market market got manicure and pedicure ehehe rayka too, and then ta bams got her hair done.

Eh ang bagal nung gumgwa nmn so ngyn plng kami nakauwi ni rayka, ahaha, we took a taxi going there, and we took a texi going back, so baduy, aahaha, the drver was busy eh, muharhar.

So now.. im finally satisfied ahaha, got my nails done, wuhuu... need a yb seriously.. uhuhu.

Anyway type in soon, haaay i miss hun..

Ahahaa finally i'm online, ahahaa, i was so annoyd kanina. Coz my dad told my aunt na gisingin kami for we had to go to our essensa unit coz there was a garage sale there, i was so annoyed damn it pinagmamadali pa kami kasi we were really needed thre daw.. asar antok na antok pa ko, that was 9am dude.. 9 am!!!! I'm a lazy couch potato chiq every summer and i was being woken up at 9!? that is just unaacptable.

At 10 we left the apartel and went straight to essensa, whn we got there wala rin kaming ginawa. Ayos ba? wala talaga, and naubos kagad ung garage sale eh, ahaha. Nakakahinayang kasi all the expensive dcorative ma bought was sold like 60 pesos nalng, hey? what can i expect it's a freaking garage sale.

We watched tv in my old room then i fell asleep ahaha, so they woke me up and said babalik na ng oakwood, so i said okay.. and went with them.. as we go to oakwood, i went straight for the bed and slept ahaha... that was at 1pm. then at 3:30 ma was waking me up she opened the drapes and all but i ignord her and just kept continuing and enjoying the deep slumber i was in. At 5:30 although i was still tired i forced my self to wake up! ahaha.. kasi may date pa kami tomorrow ni hun! our 10th Monthsary will be celebrated tom! ehehehe.

Then yun my dad was leaving pala for australia na mauuna na xa dun to fix some stuff up. Then ma on the 25th. Ehehe, may gimik nga si mama ngyn eh also tita bambi, kasama sila.. ehehe. Meaning no one will bother me if i smoke. Hurhur. Cigs ah.. im not a marijuana type of person. Eeeeky the smell ah! grrr! Never tried it in my life, any form of illegal drugs wala. Only drugs running through my vains are ibuprofen, paracetamol, and all other sickness shit.

Well anyway.. at 6:30 me and tita bams left oakwood, went down to glorietta.. we walked around.. ahaha..bought some stuff. Then we went to rustans supermarket to buy some shit that we needed. Muhaha. Then un, we bought icecream weepeee! ehehe.

I edited my layout last night, i forgot to code in the title pala, so i coded it in last night. Laughtrip walang title. So ngayon meron na, enedit ko kanina, kasi naka align left xa gnwa ko nalang center para astig.

So after rustans we came back to the room, i helped out take the groceries out of the bag and sorted it out in the kitchen, tapus after 5-10 minutes, Dan, tiday and rayka arrrived, nag timezone sila ehehe. or my sister , ewan basta they were from timezone. Magastos pa naman sis ko pag magtimzone, swipe lng xa ng swipe ahaha. to those boring games.. ahaha.. and ,little rides.. Joke, xempre bata xa, ahaha.

So now i'm here happy, coz finally i got online, phew..not sitting in my own throne "my trusty black swivel chair" but on a classy wooden chair. Ahahha. Bummer i miss essensa. Ahaha my room looked so funny kanina, alang laman! ahahaaha.

I miss hunny, haaay he went to a party kagabi so we weren't able to talk but thats all right we would be meeting tom nman eh. Eheheh. Aryt? type in later... mwah mwah.

ahaha, am i really that cool for you to envy me bitch? i am simply living my life the way i want it to be and you freakin show up and say all this shit? i knw the blog you have stated there isn't yours, what stupid morron would do that? I KNOW WHO YOU ARE you do not know me bitch, kilalanin mo muna kung sino binabangga mo! I have connections asswipe so if you want to live? better stop that attitude missy!

Remember i know who you are, your IP address means everything in this wide intrnet world so you take care of it, you think you're so brave?? ahaha, you're an ass coward bitch, tatago ka pa sa ibang name? bakit afraid to come out in your own?

Call me a freakin' poser im not, i am true to my self and people know that, unlike you BABOY ka and feel mo maganda ka, God naman you insecure piggy squeeler! kung naiinggit ka edi tell me, sus.

God i feel even beter when someone does that, you know calls you names and hide under different names, ahaha, it only means one thing, nakikita mo lahat ng magaganda na meron ako, kaya magiimbento ka ng storya mo.

I pity you, hoy pokpok, may gatas ka pa sa labi, kung sa tingin mong kaya mo ko harapin mo ko!

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Aryt, today i woke up at 11am, kulit ng tita ko eh, went online for like 15 minutes and i was able to post a short entry. Then dad came in told us that we had to go. So un we went down to outback and had lunch thre, me, dan, tiday, dad, and ta bams.

Then after that i had my phototaken sa kodak for some papers, ma says i need it. Then bought a cologne at scents and blends, mabango eh. ehehe. Kasi i was waiting for Ta bamz eh ang tgal na emp tuloy akong bumili, then sumabay si ta bamz at dad ko, they we're dropped off to places they wanted to go within makati. then we went straight to bf.

Went to hun's house, tapus na kasi summer class nya for today at that time, he said he had lunch, then i watched tv while he took a shower, ehehhe, then YBs then we went to fab.

At fab we got there at 4 - 4:30 i think dunno. Ahaha, at 7 hun's mom called hun up kain daw kami sa house nila. hehehe. So yun tita leony (hun's mom) picked us up at fab, then we had dinner. Aahaha. Laughtrip nga eh kasi we were teasing hun and all. Ehehe basta saya.

After dunner tita dropped us off at fab. Then un we stayed there for a little while i was waiting for my driver kasi that was around 9 na, then went online sa hkbk_23.. ahaha.. then nagalit si hun grabe inaway tlga ako, kasi inon ko webcam nakatapat saknya, ahaha, umiyak tuloy ako, then he said sorry and hugged me, tried to me stop crying. Ahahaha.

He was so sweet the whole day, as usual ahaha, you know..everytime we're together he would
- kiss me a lot
- hug me a lot
- doesn't let go of my hand
- smells my hair
- brushes my hair with his fingers
- wipe my pawis with his hanky
- smell me a lot.. my arm and my neck...
- compliments me
and many more, basta hun.. tsk.. hun is simply the guy a girl would ever want, or what i want, ehehe, basta.. out of all the girls he knew btter looking or not, he fell madly and deeply in love with me.. and you know.. we ave probably walked pass each other sa town..i dont know.. we might have.. but im thankful that i really knew him, and that he found me. Aww

I wonder if i could transfer this stupid internet connection in the living room, it's in mom's room kasi and it's like when they're here na i have to get out na! baduy. Ahahaha. Pero atleast dad got the intrnet! aahaha

-----o0o-----

huhuhu 2 more days left to spend with hun, and i dont even know if i could go off and see him today i mean.. i have things to do, things that my mother want me to do, it's as if my parents are doing this in purpose you know? why can't thy feel sorry for once??for me?? it's as if they don't care that from the day forward that we leave we wouldn't see each other again.

Haaay, darn this life, sometimes i ask for a miracle, and then i remember God did give me a miracle already... and that was the love hun and i shared... but then if he gave it to me, why does he have to take it away from me? that's a bit unfair diba? as i would say to my friends when they gave me a chocolate bar when we were little "binigay mo na!! wag mo nang bawiin!!" with a huge evil grin. But this isn't kids life anymore is it? i just can't go on saying that to have things going my way. It's just so sad though.. i really dont wan't to go, coz of my friends coz of hun and coz this has become my home.

I love hun, and there was no one else i loved like him.. no one. No one has ever made me feel this way, although i had gone through pain.. but as they say "pain is love's twin" huh? was dat it really?? or something like that guys, ahahah

got to go bye

i think i lost my sun sim! waaaaaaaaah!!!! di kami makakapgusap ni hun ng mtagal!! huhuhu! well anyway badtrip... asar! pero he calls me on his globe sim nmn eh, kaso xempre putol putol, then maya mya lng tumatwag, sayng din kasi ala na akong load. Haaay... asar talaga.

Well anyway this would be my last post for today guys, snce the intrnet connection is at my mom's room, ehehe, kahiya nmn later on when they get here, they are out kasi. Yb lang rin ako thn try to sleep na, i hope i would be allowed out tom. huhuhu.

So un, post in tomorrow ah!? ahaha, i have to sign out my yahoo too. Bummer. uhuhuhu.

asar tlga. Babush!;)

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Just finsihed having a shower, muarhar took a shower again for my head was itchy pero atleast alang flakes! ahaha

I made a layout na for this shit. Ahahaa, although it aint that perfect, ahaha, really ain used to blogger man. Ahahaha. Well anyway ahaha, in my pj's its so cold kasi. Ahaha. and i put on walking socks... muharhar.

Well anyhoo... miss hun so much.. haaay... sa 23 next nmng kita... uhuhu sana pygn din ako sa 24 kasi,. last day na.. haaay. Im still codng in the codes for xanga smileys engot. Ahaha. i keep forgtting blogger na to.

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Hmm Oakwood, wat i love about this apartel we are staying is it's got services, i mean someone will make my bed everyday with hotel style ahahaa. Aircon is on at all times.

Other cool stuff are 40 dllars of intrnet 7 days, which is what we have now. Different kind of tissue paper, im telling you it's damn soft. Those warm and cozzy hotel slippers ahaaha. The view. The sweet scent of "hotel" and the "hotel" feeling.

You can just go down and there is glorietta.

But then Home, or should i say or condo in essensa is what i love bettr, we have DSL it is a HOME!! damn, and the huge flat screen tv in out living room, the booming huge sterio, our trusty couch, the toys lying around. Our dog. :(.. muffin. It also has aircon. huhu.. i mss essensa. I miss everything about our home.

I miss my darn messy room, my freaking door that's full of posters and keep out signs. My bathroom na sobrang damng kaekikan. my bathtub..huhu my room here doesn't have a tub, just in mom's room.

The view.. the freaking noisy army jogging every morning. The kids running around the outdoor pool and garden. Market market. :( i miss everything about it.

I even miss it more when i think that i wouldn't be able to stay in it anymore. That after this relaxing stay in Oakwood i would be crying my head off as i leave.

Leaving all my friends behind, my tambayans, my loving boyfriend. Freaking hypocrites. Traffic. Pollution. Bazaars. Cheap stuff. Pirated CDs. Pirated stuff. And all othr stuff to miss you know. Haayy..

Damn my stomach s rumbling. Muharhar! sshh quite ah! i cant find the key of my suitcase, buti nlng i have that bag for gensan. But i hope find the key soon, or else i'd be damn dead. Muhahaha. Seriously. And o yeah line of 7 nga grade ko sa AP uhuhu.. so as in Filipino. Ehehe. Engot ko tlga.

Anyway... gotta find food.

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ahaha hangover of the surprise still and the alcohol, aaha still didn't gt over the surprise, parang last night i didn't want it to end, they were all treating me so special and you know as if they really didn't want me to go. uuhuhu. Well as for the alcohol darn, ahaha, i brushed my teeth and then called hun and then i slept. If you're wondering why i didn't take a shower it's because all my clothes were at oakwook already ahaha.

So now im here at oak wood, when we got here i took a shower kagad! ahaha. Darn my blog is so damn boring. Ahahaha, peace.

My sister is watchng madeline ehehe, she's liking it here since it's cold, the aircon is left on all day all nght, astig noh? well i was wrong about the intrnet, i thought mom said we were staying at new world although they have internet thre too but this internet here at oakwood is cool. Muhahah.

Badtrip kanina when i took a shower edi yosi muna, tapus when i tried opening the freakng soap ahaha, it was darn hard kasi it had plastic, i tried biting it and shit muhaha, i tasted the freaking clear brown soap oakwood provided to tell you kadiri. Muhaha, i almost puked dude!I got my dad to gt me shampoo, conditioner and icedtea from the supermart, ehehe, kasi my head is itching right now from the conditioner and shampoo they have here at oakwood, ahaha,.. its scentd kasi siguro the smell is fine it's my scalp that's darn sensitive like my skin muhahaha.

I miss evryone already ahaha, laftrip pa kagbi kasi i was hugging besh and then was crying besh was drama and all he said touching stuff which made me cry. Muhahahha, then hun cut in the picture and said "okay pare tama na yan, tsansing ka na eh" tumawa tuloy ako! ahahaha..then hun hugged me and gave me comfort kasi i was cryng he told me to stop na and be happy.

OoOOoOOo gotta eat na, havn't had breakfast nor lunch. Aryt!? type in sooon dude! mwah!

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Damn dude, the other night i was a bit tampp with hun kasi when i called him and told him na umuwi na xa he answered " im busy, me and my friends are talking about something" i asked him what about he answered "it's something you're not supposed to know" i felt pretty offended by this but didn't mind it nalang.

So when he came home that night i bragged him about it and he still wouldn't tell me, so i didn't bother to ask anymore.

So anyway today when i came to fab, he was talking with other peeps, like gurls so i was freaked out, kasi he would do "ehem" when i get close. I felt so sad and offended i thought that he was hiding something, and he had never been secretive with me.

So then i saw his mom's text message na may dinner sa house ng ninang nya, and then his mom called na pinaalam na raw ako ni tita leony sa mom ko, so nagulat ako, kasi parng i didn't know and all pinaalam na pala ako. ahihi.

Tapus nun hun said sabay nlng daw kami sa mom nya. Kaso it was 8:00 pm na we were still at fab i was getting nervous na kasi baka my mom would get mad na kasi dinner nga eh we're still at fab. So yun, besh, dong and rain arrived at fab.. and i was so glad besh was there, ahihi, and then they stayed there for a while which was new but i didn't notice.. stupid me.

So un, rain, kevin, besh and dong lived at the same village which was POSADAS which is where the dinner was supposed to be helled, ehehe, so sabi ni hun sabay nlng kami kanila dong and he said his mom would be there soon rin, so when we got there sabi ni hun 31 daw... then dong said diba 39? i was like.. inisip ko sa sarili ko 'pno nmn nasabi ni dong na 39?!' so un, when we got there xempre tahimik ako nag doorbell si hun. then the maid said "anjan si dingdong?" stupid me i was so confused i asked hun "hun bakt kilala nila si dong?" hun answered eh kasi kapit bahay nila..so i jsutg nodded as if i understood, i couldn't get it that time kasi pati sila besh kilala, barkada ni dong kasi. Tapus hinila ako ni hun sa labas, and then Roseanne, perveen, rain baes, and the other rain na barkada ni dong was there! i was like "ano meron bkt andito kayo?!" i was so dumb and confused i really didn't get what was happening! muhhaha then they said "surprise!" so then it clicked me, ahaha it was a surprise going away party for me, how sweet!!!

Ahahah then i thought of all the odd things, all the wonders flashed back so i said 'ah! kaya pala' uhaha dummy me.

So we had hard drinks no beers, ahaha, i really am stronger in hard drinks than beer, muhaha i had like 10 shots and still i aint drunk pero sa beer 6 bottles of redhorse i would be drunk na. We had vodkas, rhum and brandys astig noh? well di nawala ang yosi. AHAHAH! Then i took pictures on anne's camera, kasi nga diba? i lost my camera dati ehehe, i asked her if she could send it, and then she said yeah.

So un at good bye time, i cried, seriously, i hugged everyone, close guy friends and gurl friends, i asked permission from hun firt ofcourse ehehe.

Well anyway, i used my dad's laptop, the other one, ung hindi nya gngmit.. ahaha, kasi i cant find my laptop, ahaha, my worry is the packer must have packed it, darn! ahaha. I hope not. I hope it's in the hotel. Ehehe, im still here at essensa, my room is full of boxes, but i decided to stay here, i couldnn;t bare not to share this experience.

Anyway ito muna blog i'll edit the layout, maybe im moving my journal here ehehe, para may archive! kasi my xanga layout is kinda messed up. ehehehe so i dunno i'd still fix my xanga but for now ito muna ha??

God and mga kasbwat sa surprise nga pala is my mother, hun's mom. roseanne and roseanne! a lot of people came actually and they all said their sweet dedications of good byes that why i cried, ahaha. I hugged besh and cried, hugged everyone and cried, darn it. They all want me to stay but there's nothing i can do is there!?

Love you guys! muhwah!! Im tired na a bit, which is amazing maybe coz of that alcohol ahaha.