Demonic Angel

Holidaizzz!! oH yeaah..

Moving on pretty well, i guess i can live without something i though that i couldn't! I shall enjoy my holidai! mwahz to yaz all!

posted by aL ♥ @ 12:27 pm 0 Comments

Alyssa is Free Again

Wow, i just made myself look like a pricetag by that title. I broke up with my boyfriend last Sunday. The reason? I do not wish to share, it is something I want to keep to myself. No he didn't cheat on me... I don't think i'll be in a relationship for a while ( lol. i seem to always say that, but that never happens. haha. i contradict myself too much. lol but as of the moment, no dating for me )

I told the poor kid that I didn't want to talk to him for a while, its wasn't to make him suffer but it was simply the easiest way to move on, he wanted to stay friends.. I would love that but just not now... maybe in a few months time. I feel broken and i feel like a part of me is missing.. but it wasn't a bad breakup. It was something that I have realized. I have masde the mistake before in my younger years and i don't want to go through the same thing again. So i ended it while it's necessary. There is still a part of me that would like to get back with him... but what would be the purpose of all that thought put into it? There was just no point.

I will never regret the 1 year i had with him. It was a good relationship no doubt, I learnt from him and at the same time he leart from me...but it's kjust not working anymore. I don't want to stress myself out during these times, VCE years are crucial years, to prepare for Uni, I don't want to be emotionaly unstable now. It's hard but im holding on pretty well, I haven't been crying as much. Although it hurts but somehow a part of me thinks that there was no point in brawling my eyes out. There was nothing to cry for... it wasn't a bad relationship,.. its just sad that it can't continue on. I still love and care for him very much but I don't want that to get into the way of my decisions.

I told my parents about my plan for uni, dad was quite happy that i put effort into thinking about my future. I would be living with friends, which i have done while my parents are away ( I stayed ovcer a bestfriend's house because parents had to deal with things in the Philippines. - 5 weeks- it was quite sad, but i understand why. Proud of mum for being so strong, must have so hard to know that im so far away.) I've learnt to be so independent, living by myself. It doesnt mean that i want to live by meyself. I love my parents lol. I don't want to go! just yet! but yeah during the time that im in Uni durin g the week ill be staying in a shared apartment with friends, and during the weekend I will stay with my family! weepee! It sounds like a lot of responsibility.. God. I can't believe time is moving so fast, next year i will be 18.. pfft. It feels so weird, i remember when i was 8 i wished i was older to look like a hot supermodel - but now I wish Id stay 16 forever! haha. I guess the idea of RESPONSIBILTY and OBLIGATION and GETTING OLDER.. is scaring me a little. But i know friends and family will support me, which i am quite happy for. Maahn my parents we're so cool about my idea, it surprised me. I thought mum would be strict and not let me, but i guess she knows ill be responsible. Erhan (ex-boyfriend) on the other hand wasn't cool about my IDea of going to Deakin Uninversity. he said it'll be too far away. I felt like was obligated to stay around him.. and that scared me, happened before wont let it happen again, it's not marriage! haha! My whole world isn't supposed to revolve around him. I have a life too!

i have a new guitar! :) it is BLUE! one of my favourite colours. Im so devoted to RED at the moment... i dont even know why. hehe.. i move dup to the next leveell of devotion that i bought myself red chucks (with financial help off my parents ofcourse) and a dark red leather bag ( so hooot ) haha, yeah that's right!

Oh well's im getting tired now haha. Post more soon! :)
Take care Ya'll!

posted by aL ♥ @ 9:47 am 0 Comments