Demonic Angel

I break can mean different things, it could simply mean you need to get away from the reality of life, all the hurt, the pain, and everything else that tries to bring you down. A break could also be a part of your adolescent, a break out of pimples, break out of split ends, break out of water weight, being bloated. Or simply a break, a break out of tears that you have tried so long to hold.
All this time, i have tried to hide my feelings and my thoughts. Things haven't been so easy you know? I tried to hide it from Lexi, and from Lily, and also from everyone else. I didn't want people to see that i was weak, i wanted everyone to know that i was independent. break, a break out of tears that you have tried so long to hold.
The other day, this creepy guy started yelling at us from next door, and mind you this is not allowed, and yet he did it, we were sitting down, and he was yelling from a higher angle, which felt realy demeaning and degrading. It gave me an axiety attack, where i broke out into shock, and i couldn't speak, i was afraid i was going to say something mean, something wrong, and i knew everytime i came to that position, i always regreted things i said. This incident made me cry. Made me break out into tears that ive been trying so hard to hold on to.break, a break out of tears that you have tried so long to hold.
I went into my room, i wanted to be alone. I cried. I know this sounds really depressing, but i just somehow wanted to be away from people. My friend, Lexi, not knowing what was going on, started yelling at me, "why are being such a bitch your friend for?", this really affected me, since all i did was walk into my room, and that was it, it really hurt me even more that there was simply no other way, to not affect anyone. break, a break out of tears that you have tried so long to hold.
break, a break out of tears that you have tried so long to hold.
In that room, what i called my temple, i felt horrible. The pain was too hard to bare, i felt so weak, pathetic, and dependent. I couldn't bare to look in myself in the mirror in disgrace, i started to scribble on it, and then took a picture, to be reminded, that i need to change the girl in the mirror. It reminded me one important thing, i needed to be strong for myself for now, and not for anyone else.break, a break out of tears that you have tried so long to hold.
My friend, lexi, talked to me, and apologized. I wasn't angry with her. She said words that made my hair stand, all over my body. "You think you are so weak lally, but if only you can see what i see, you are stronger than you think" she said, i was right, people who give up are cowards, she told me... i wasn't one of them. Beforehand i explained to her how i felt about everything, i need not to mention my life. But, i said to her, that i can never take my life, despite the fact that i may feel like i am in the worst situations, and even though i am in the worst pain that i could bare, because even in that insane little head, and moment, i manage to come up with the idea that, I would be a coward for doing that, and it would be unfair to everyone i love, and to everyone that love me. I wouldn't want to hurt them.